How Self-Discipline Became My Form of Self-Respect

Written by Kim Tran

"Comparison with myself brings improvement, comparison with others bring discontent." - Betty Jamie Chung

In my last post, I explored a common human experience — comparison. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” but most of us don’t truly understand it until we’re the ones caught in its grip.

That was me - comparing myself to my friend.

The experience made me realize that it didn’t motivate me. It didn’t inspire me. It made me feel worse.

It created distance between us. It left me with shame and guilt, and most of all, it robbed me of the ability to appreciate my own worth.

In that moment, I realized that I had to reclaim my power. I needed to redirect my focus on the things that I can change rather than things I can not.

I needed to stop focusing on the things I couldn’t change — how others viewed my friend, who liked her, who didn’t, or how people saw me.

What I could change was how I saw myself — how I chose to show up in the world.

I could choose to believe in my worth. I could choose to choose me — instead of waiting for someone else to validate my value.

Those are things that I can change.

As I mentioned in my last post, I knew that there was no reason for me to be envious of my friend. Because logically, I KNEW that I was worthy of love.

What I needed though, was to prove it to myself.

So I started with something small - how I presented myself to the world.

These days, people often ask me, “Kim, how do you always look put together?”

They'll often compliment me on my makeup, my hair, my nails, my outfits, etc.

But what they fail to see, is the version of me today was not built overnight.

I had to work for it.

Who I am today, is a product of years of discipline, years of trial and error, years of practice.

Years of me working towards slowly reclaiming my confidence.  

Growing up, I’ve always been labeled “the weird kid”. I was one of the few asian kids in my school. I was the little asian girl who wore colour changing glasses and braces.

The one that did well academically, but never really fit in socially.

To top it off, I also struggled with acne, severe acne. I remember one time in University, I pulled an all nighter to cram an entire semester of information into my head.

This caused me to severely break out.

The following day, a fellow classmate came up to talk to me and I felt so embarrassed by my skin that I wished the floor would open up and swallow me whole.

I wanted to disappear.

I couldn’t make eye contact.

I was afraid to be seen, to be judged.

Makeup, hair, nails, and clothes became my armour.

Spending time on how I looked helped me feel in control – like I had some power over how the world saw me. But more importantly, it helped me feel like I mattered. Like I was worthy of care.

Over time, getting ready in the morning became a ritual of self-respect.

It wasn’t for anyone else.

It was for me.

As a reminder to myself, that I’ve shown up for myself today – that I’ve put in effort into how I move through the world.

And no matter how others see me, I know I’ve chosen to show up as my best.

Perhaps that’s why I always felt called to the beauty industry.

I wanted to help other women feel beautiful too. I want to give them what I had to learn to give myself – confidence.

I’m thankful that I became a lash technician. Through my work, I’ve been able to empower women, not just with an amazing set of lashes, but through our many deep conversations.  

I also do this for her – for younger Kim.

For the girl that couldn’t even look someone in the eye.

The girl that was afraid of being seen.

The girl who never imagined that she’d have the confidence and the courage to one day write her story for the world to read, knowing there’s a chance that people will judge, misunderstand, or reject her.

And to you – the reader – if you’re in that space of feeling insecure, feeling like you’re not enough, feeling unworthy – I want you to know, you are not alone and you don’t have to stay stuck.

But to begin healing, you have to stop running from your insecurities. Sit with them. Ask them, “What do I need to do to overcome you?”

Maybe it’s hitting the gym, switching up your circle, going to therapy, journaling, studying something new, dressing differently, breaking bad habits… or yes, maybe it’s booking a calming facial or lash set at Belle Vie Beauty Lounge.

Start with what you can control – start with you. 

Choose you.

And once you make that choice – commit to it. Be disciplined with your love, your healing, and your self-worth – and watch how your life will begin to transform around you.

And so, I invite you to take the necessary steps to start creating your beautiful life.

Into Becoming Belle Vie – the journey to the beautiful life within.

With so much love,

Kim Tran